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Saturday, 1 May 2010

Sugar, ah honey honey, You are my candy aisle

As part of my Wal*Mart job in dry groceries, I am frequently called on to work the candy aisle.

Even in America we don't pretend that candy is real food, so the candy aisle is not with the rest of the groceries but halfway across the store near the Pharmacy. This causes some confusion to new customers, but it's probably just as well to stop children bugging their parents. A visit to the candy aisle cannot be made inadvertently.

When Beth and I first arrived, I got very excited at CostCo, a big warehouse-like store, and invested in several big bags and boxes of candy, including M&Ms (both chocolate and peanut), Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Skittles in various guises, and even Beth, who barely touches candy, got caught up in the moment and bought a 6lb bag of Gummy Bears. Apart from the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, we still have at least 5/6 of the original supply in stock.

As a consequence I haven't actually bought much candy from Wal*Mart, but I do have the opportunity to familiarize myself with the various brands which are known to every American schoolchild. There's a lot of them, so I'll give just a flavor here:

Dots, Mike & Ike's, Junior Mints, York Peppermint Patties, Hershey's Kisses, SweeTarts, Necco Wafers, Swedish Fish, Tootsie Rolls, Almond Joy, Butterfinger, Babe Ruth, 3 Musketeers.

I've left out anything that bears the same name as a UK product, but familiar names like Mars, Twix and Milky Way often conceal a product that bears only a passing resemblance to the UK version.

One thing is certain, that Eugenians gets through a LOT of candy.


  1. It's not just Eugene! Candy eating is a remarkably tenacious American affliction. At this point in my life I only enjoy chocolate, and it has to be GOOD chocolate (drugstore heart-shaped assortments will not do,) but it still gives me a headache. The candy industry would go belly-up if it were up to me. So would most industries for that matter. (oh, okay. I like sour clear life-savers if pressed, but I never buy them.) Trouble is, I've passed the threshold where your body forgives all, and discretion has become a lifestyle choice.

  2. Whoppers, Sour Patch Kids, Twizzlers, Red Vines, Mounds, Tootsie Roll Pops (now with banana flavor!), Nerds, Laffy Taffy, Jelly Bellys, Blo-Pops, Sour Warheads (possibly discontinued, I don't know), Hot Tamales, Candy Corn (seasonal), Indian Corn (seasonal variant), Circus Peanuts (peanut-free), Milk Duds, 100 Grand, Airheads, Goobers, Fun Dip, Good & Plenty (they used to have Good & Fruity, which was better), Payday, Push Pops, Ring Pops, Whatchamacallit, Caramello, Atomic Fireballs, Bubble Tape (ok, that's gum, but it's designed to be played with), Runts, Jolly Ranchers, Lifesavers, Nutrageous....OK, I'll stop now!